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A moment.

September 25, 2014

Shaken, I stopped short as I walked into my living room.

Only a few minutes had passed since I left the room to put a load of clothes in the washing machine. But as I stood in the doorway, suddenly viewing the moment from a distance of years, I stood frozen with awe at the life I’ve created. Young-me lived in a chaotic, unstable world and didn’t feel any reasons to hope for a peaceful or secure future. Young-me lived with fear, confusion, hopelessness. She looked through present-me’s eyes and was so overwhelmingly surprised and grateful at what she saw that it broke both our hearts.

I felt such a powerful feeling of gratitude and awe that for a  moment all I could do was stare, astonished, with tears in my eyes and a smile on my lips. Nothing to do but bend and pat the dogs who’d run to greet me with wagging tails and hopeful eyes, run a hand along the spines of my books on the shelf, and cross the rug to kiss my fiance on the cheek as he sat and played and sang at the piano.

In many ways this moment was the most serene, calm, and joyful of my life.

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